Posted 2006-12-17 @ 08:04:38 by Former Purple Candle Club Attendee
Oh my gosh!!! I used to have the biggest crush on you. I was so shy though I used to go hide in the corner if you so much as walked over to my side of the hall. This one time I finally got up the nerve to dance really close to where you were standing. We were doing the jerk and this guy dancing beside my girlfriend and I elbowed me right in the side of the head. I don't know if you remember the incident, but I went flying and landed right in front of you. I guess you were pretty wrapped up watching the band because not only did you not notice but you stepped on my ankle and then looking down said, " Hey, no midgets allowed." I was so embarrassed I never went back to the Purple Candle Club and then a few months later my family moved away to Shelburne. Anyway, to make a long story short, you ruined my life you insensitive bastard.
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 10:59:43 by D nee G
Ok, where is everyone? I'm waiting for the midget material....
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 12:36:23 by Walt
I'm still insensitive.
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 21:54:16 by Dwarf Central
Just when we were thinkin' it was safe out there, that the little people jokes were relegated to the same status as other visible minorities, or in our case partially visible, someone feels the need to disparage the vertically challenged. Well I hope you're proud of yourself, you insensitive bastard.
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 21:59:19 by Dwarf Tossers United
Hey, baby britches, we're short a dwarf(no pun intended)for the annual Xmas Dwarf Toss and Sleigh Ride out at the German-Canadian club this sunday. Lederhosen is optional.
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 22:07:09 by Snoop Dog
Yo elf face, we be needed us sum lil' midgies fo ma upcummin video shoot. Bitches sho is hot an puttin it about fo youse stubby shortcakes. Sheeit, youse is da perfik fit for da wham blammin fashizzle and yo lil' feet looks so sweet a danglin.
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 22:28:04 by Stu Adamson
Hey we could use a dwarf or two at the party; all the table legs are busted and there's nowhere to line the blow. Plus those damn cheerleaders drank all the Southern Comfort and that Alberta farmboy is dry humping anything that moves all the while calling out for someone named Nada.
Posted 2006-12-17 @ 22:37:29 by the Brampton Police Department
I think we may have busted the wrong party. The guy kept telling us he was Don Simmons, but we just kept on beating him until he confessed to the crystal meth lab explosion. He also confessed to kidnapping the Lindberg baby and lying about the size of his penis, but we all do that so we let it pass. We're looking into this baby thing though.
Posted 2006-12-18 @ 12:49:26 by The Lindberg Baby a.k.a. Crappy Pants
I wasn't really kidnapped, I just needed my own space, and besides my parents were Nazi sympathizers. So I rode the rails for a spell before ending up in hobo heaven, Barstow, California. I had my own shoe repair business for a while and then made a killing when transistor radios first came out. I was also in on the early Apple computer successes and of course MacDonalds and Mary Kay franchises were always very lucrative. Later it was Thigh Master, and bogus pharmaceuticals. When the Bush administration started making noises about WMD's in Iraq, I converted my entire portfolio to Haliburton Stock. That's when I really hit the jackpot. Old Dick Cheney, he's nobody's fool. If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that wars, pestilence, famine and disease are a capitalists wet dream. All in the name of spreading democracy and humanitarian aid of course.
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 18:38:03 by Baby Jane
Tell it Baby L, just how gullible are the American public?
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 18:39:31 by Baby Ruth
Obviously a hell of a lot more gullible than we ever could have imagined.
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 18:45:54 by Baby Snookums
Hey is that party still happenin'?
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 18:49:15 by Baby Huey
And how! Deese cheerleaders are simply scrumptious.
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 18:56:52 by Loyal Order of the Pom Pom
We here at LOOPP take exception to your highly erroneous depiction of cheerleaders as booze-hounds and lascivious skanks when in fact these girls are paragons of virtuous excess, bursting with enthusiasm and esprit de corp.
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 21:55:26 by Baby Huey
The only thing that was bursting around here was my pants.
Posted 2006-12-19 @ 22:00:20 by Kindercare Daycare
I would like to report a rash of recent baby-nappings from our daycare in Ridgehill Manor. I believe it could be the work of a notorious diaper laundering ring. Please be on the lookout, they are armed and dangerous (the ring not the babies, although that Baby Huey can be quite a handful).
Posted 2006-12-20 @ 08:11:24 by Mr Insensitive
I seem to have offended just about everyone on the planet. Consequently, I shall be taking a new tack...and sticking it right up your god damned asses, namby pamby, politically corrected morphadytes...why I oughta...
Posted 2006-12-20 @ 08:13:11 by Another ex-PCC attendee
Hey who was the drummer for the Mystics?
Posted 2006-12-20 @ 08:17:15 by Gary Maltby
Posted 2006-12-20 @ 08:18:37 by the Factoids
Too easy. Who was the guitar player for Mondo Court?