Born on father's 27th birthday, pints all around. Quickly falls in with gang of junior teddy boys where he earns the nickname 'Sureshot Shawcross" due to accuracy with a catapult. Burns down abandoned army camp after starting largest grass fire ever witnessed in British Isles including Jersey and Guernsey. Subsequently flees to Canada. Takes up ice hockey and fighting (oftentimes indistinguishable). In 1965, joins rock group "The Knack", playing first gig for the princely sum of $8. Dance shuts down early on account of brawl with town hoods. Graduates high school in 1969 after five year running battle with principal over length of hair. Enters York University, reeking havoc with various subversive organizations including Jewish Defense League, Black Panthers and Weather Underground, Toronto Chapter. Attempt to blow up Maple Leaf Gardens fails when fuse man sets off sprinkler system. Gets married and takes year off studies, working as "wedge man" on tree-felling crew in dead of Canadian winter. Did he learn nothing in school?
Graduates University in 1973, Magna Cum Laude (kidding). Tours Europe in British ambulance with glam-rock band "Ginger Muff". Quickly tires of wearing makeup so gets real job. Quickly loses real job but creates major headlines after exposing corrupt bureaucracy. Quickly learns that you can't eat headlines. Takes 1979 off to tour Europe and North Africa with wife (same one). Starts water fight with gullible Australians (aren't they all?) in sacred fountain in Morocco. Subsequently flees continent. For next twenty-five years attempts to juggle career, wife, kids, assorted jazz gigs, painting, killer squash game, and the odd night of high stakes poker. Takes sabbatical in `04. Finishes writing first novel in Venice.